A bit late but heck this is funny, at the same time true.


AFFIDAVIT OF LONGING



I, _________, Filipino, of legal age with legal residence at __________________, after having been witness to the maddening rush of singles out to find a date on Valentine's Day, after heckling them as headless chickens with a silly priority, after having narrowly escaped a stoning by these same singles after uttering that aforementioned remark, after having been sworn, do hereby declare and depose that:



1. I am a steeled, calloused woman, a small player in a game the big boys play, but a player nonetheless.


2. As such, I scoff at the cutesy stuff and do not spend precious time engaging in trite discussions on the merits of such weightless matters as where I can find a date, will he call or does he like me. To the best of my ability, I endeavor to rid my mind of such folly. Desperately.


3. I fully comprehend and wholly accept the crass commercialism of Valentine's Day. I realize that it is a concept exploited, abused and capitalized -- in the complete sense of the word -- by greeting card companies, restaurants, hotels and mattress makers.


4. Despite the above, I am still a fool for romance.


5. I am a pushover for moonlit talks, fresh flowers, impulsive gifts and tender, clever words of endearment. I dream of pony rides for two in a faraway place, of sheltering beneath a soft blanket against the cold night wind, of taking long walks on a beach at sunset and of a hand to hold.


6. I contend that these shallow thrills reveal a deeper emotion, a secret wish common to the vast majority of single twenty-somethings. As part of the aforementioned category, I further contend that this wish may be pared down to a longing for a hand to hold.


7. With this, I assert that longing is a state of the mind and heart, a somewhat wrenching proposition, but a condition that may be alleviated by diversions unique to the individual. It is a state that normally ends when a person has found someone to whom he can devote all of his time, passion and energy.


8. For the record, I am not in a state of longing. But having sifted through the serene albeit grudging wisdom of the dumped, the insightful and sometimes catty discussions of modern-day sages and my own eager experience, I discern and believe all I write to be true.


9. With the foregoing as guide, I do then gently advise that if by some favored chance, you meet the person with whom you can happily share a life, then by all means, do everything in your power and beyond to be a source of happiness to that person without sacrificing your sense of self.


10. Keep in mind though that the heart has its own cadence and voice and that its rhythms and reasons may never be unraveled. And though possession is nine-tenths ownership, in the realm of the senses and of the soul, the heart is free to leave when it desires.


11. This goes for you, too. For though you may have found someone, and even if that person be your soul mate, it is by no means a guarantee that you will cease to want.


12. Thus, in matters of the heart, teach yourself four things: to give of yourself, to rely on yourself, to temper expectations, and to simply accept.


13. What I have learned is timeless yet time-bound, acceding to your unique situation and circumstance. Like good wine, you can never have enough, it cannot possible quench all that you thirst for, and it can only be appreciated if you agree to taste.


14. This affidavit is executed to attest to the foregoing facts and for whatever purposes this may serve. On this day, and for the years to come, I wish you a hand to hold.


In witness whereof, I have hereunto set my hand this 14th day of February 2003 in Manila, Philippines.





__________________
Affiant




Written by: Yvette Candice Gotianuy for her column "A Fine Mess"
Cebu Daily News, 16 February 1999.