1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?

I went to Chicago -- just me, without maps or any companions.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Didn't make any resolutions last year and will not make any for the next year although I'll be jotting some goals I'm hell bent on achieving this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Nope.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My aunt (lung cancer)

5. What countries did you visit?

Not country but a city -- Chicago -- nevertheless I think this should count since it's a totally different environment from what I'm used to

6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?

Self-confidence -- no more of that crippling self-doubt, of being scared most of the time, of chickening out.

7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

December 16 -- the day I went to Chicago and stayed up until the wee hours of the morning just to see ROTK

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Going to Chicago all by myself and staying there for ~21 hours -- not to mention walking along the cold, deserted streets of Chicago

9. What was your biggest failure?

Still a bum

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nope

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Best thing? Well there's my digicam, my mp3 player, and the LOTR book with bookends set.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Mine!! Heehee.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

A friend of mine.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Err gadgets mostly. Oh all right, LOTR stuff.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The release of Return of the King last Dec 17!

16. What song will always remind you of 2003?

Christina Aguilera's The Voice Within

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Happier, to a degree

ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter (darn)

iii. richer or poorer? Poorer (waah)

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Be more sociable.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Being scared most of the time and of not believing in my own strengths

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

With my Lola and my aunt's family

22. Did you fall in love in 2003?

Yes (or I think I did)

23. How many one-night stands?

Zilch.

24. What was your favorite TV program?

Tarzan hehe.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No.

26. What was the best book you read?

The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Oh another book? Well it would have to be 10 books -- it's the Sandman by Neil Gaiman.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

My portable mp3 player!

28. What did you want and got?

To go to the Chicago Line Party!!

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

Need I say it again? Of course it's Return of the King! Hands down!

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Birthday? Hmm.. spent it with my cousins and the rest of our extended family in Giordano's -- an Italian restaurant whose pizzas are MMM-HMMM delicious. And I was 23.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

NOT being a bum

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?

Fashion? What fashion??

34. What/Who kept you sane?

The internet! Haha.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Travis Flimmel of the Tarzan (un)fame

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

FPJ running for president. Oh puhleez.

37. Who did you miss?

My family and friends.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

People -- Angel, Jax, Hec, Dane, Vei, Pia

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003:


To believe, to have faith in one's own strengths.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Home is behind.

The world ahead.

And there are many paths to tread

Thru shadow to the edge of night

Until the stars are all alight

Mist and shadows, cloud and shade

All shall fade.

All shall fade.

-- Bilbo's walking song in FOTR and Pippin's song in ROTK

and

Why do you weep?

What are these tears upon your face?

Soon you will see

All of your fears will pass away

Safe in my arms

You're only sleeping.

-- Into the West by Annie Lennox, ROTK OST

Survey from Euniq.

These are just some of my LOTR hoard I got this Christmas -- a LOTR journal from a classmate and a LOTR movie pin from the cousin of a cousin. I didn't expect to get anything remotely related to LOTR this year, especially not from people whom I barely know. Just goes to say that being a LOTR fanatic will be one of the things, if not the main thing, they will remember most about me. Just last year, a blogmate (who, incidentally, is a collegemate too) asked her sister if she knows me personally. The sister replied "The LOTR fanatic?" Ooops busted.

Another surprise this Holiday season is me writing letters and diary entries. For some it may not be as surprising as it should be. But take note, I never liked writing snail mail. I never had a diary. I never did enjoy doing these things. My mom has to really force me to write at least a paragraph to my dad who, for years, was in some other country. My friends have not received anything from the mail from me during the past year -- except for email, that is. I guess writing letters, for me, have this connotation of being cheesy and sentimental and I hate feeling that way. Ugh. But for some reason, I decided to write to my friends this Christmas. I tell you, ALL of them were surprised! Hmm no, I think that's an understatement. Let's try again -- They were flabbergasted to receive something from me! ME!!! But I can't blame them for thinking that way. Even I was amazed that I actually sent at least a dozen of those Christmas cards. But you know what? The most astonishing thing is I enjoyed it. I really did. I so loved the feeling of being able to send letters to people that I'll probably do it again and again and again... I just hope they'll respond.

Christmas has passed and I barely even felt it. Who did anyway? With a lot of problems (and few solutions) in our lives, I don't think a lot would mind not celebrating Christmas this year. I certainly did not. Oh bugger! This is no way to think or feel about Christmas! This is not about me. It should be about other people. That's the true spirit of Christmas is it not? Thinking about other people's welfares AND counting blessings not shortcomings -- that's what it's all about. Well even though I have a lot of things to wish for this Christmas, I think I should be listing things that, having escaped my mind, I should be thankful for -- things that matter in the long run (most of them anyway). Anyway here's my list. What's yours?

I'm thankful, this Christmas, for:

5. being able to celebrate the Holidays with my relatives. I know it's hard not being with my family but somehow it's ok. At least I have my Grandma and my aunt and my cousins with me. They make everything bearable. I got it lucky I know and for that, I'm grateful. And even though my family is in Pinas, I'm still happy knowing that they're all safe.

4. friends, here or abroad, offline or online, old or new. For me to find them and for them to extend their friendship to me is really one of the greatest gifts I could ever have. For my friends, wherever you are, miss ko na kayo!!

3. having lots of Tolkien goodies. You wouldn't expect me to leave that out now, do you??

2. having watched Return of the King in its opening day with the rest of the Tolkien fanatics in Chicago. Well my aunt could have forbidden me (thank God, she didn't) and for that I'm happy. The experience, the adventure, the smile at the end of the day would make up for all the moots I've missed in Pinas (well, almost but not quite).

1. being alive - Is there anything greater than this reason for being happy and thankful this Christmas?

Yay! I have finally gotten around in finalizing that much-delayed winter lay-out. Winter has officially started last Dec 21 and just this Christmas, was I able to have an inspiration in making a template. Needless to say, it's both a winter and LOTR-themed one. The picture I used was done by Ted Nasmith -- an illustration of Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee trekking in Emyn Muil. (That's how I feel whenever winter is here. B-r-r-r.) This illustration is special to me because this was the cover of my first Two Towers book (I got 3 different sets of my beloved trilogy already). Just looking at it is enough for me to feel the chill in my bones. The text above are my favorite lines from the song "Into the West" by Annie Lennox -- a beautifully rendered theme of the Return of the King movie which never fails to make me wistful. Wistful of Pinas, of my family and friends, of my life back in the Philippines. Sigh.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ULAN and ANGEL!

Anyway since it's about 10 hours until the official release of ROTK, I decided to explore Chicago. Here are some of the pics I should have taken long ago but did not because of my (t)rusty camera. BTW most of my pics are a bit blurry. I would like to blame the weather for it but I know it's my camera's fault. :D

Art Institute of Chicago

Skyscrapers in Chicago

Got overly anxious so didn't get to explore much. Went back to the theater and caught a screening to 2 different movies -- Honey and Master and Commander -- while waiting for 12mn. At 9pm, the Chicago Fellowship had some raffles. Bad trip I didn't win anything.

Fans waiting for their names to be called during the raffle

Toyssss precioussss!

For more Chicago pictures head on over to my Chicago/LOTR album.

Anyway suffice to say that I really had a lot of fun during the Line Party. It's really a nice experience watching the movies you love with other fans.

P.S. BTW, if you want to know what happened after the movie ended, here's a recap: Movie ended at 4am --> Walked along the deserted streets of Chicago trying to find a 24/7 convenience store --> Stayed 2 hours at 7-11 --> Walked a bit since my feet were killing me and ended up in White Hen Pantry, another convenience store (stayed there for an hour or so) --> 7am, I called my aunt --> 9am, on the way home --> 11am, fast asleep

Dec 15 pa lang, I was anxious of the Chicago Line Party. For weeks, I was preparing myself for this -- what should i wear, what should i bring, do I have a map, can I friggin' do this, those sort of questions. All of the things I expected to encounter in this adventure I (kind of) mentally prepared for it except for the most important thing -- where am I going to stay once the movie is done? But at that time, it really didn't bother me because of anticipation and excitement for the third movie. Anyway let's start the story. (This is sort of a photo-packed post; will just try to add details here and there.)

It's funny when I woke up on Dec 16. Usually I tend to oversleep but not that day. My aunt and uncle were really amused about my behavior about this whole LOTR hoopla thing.

A snapshot of the train station -- actually I was just testing my camera if it's working

Illinois Street -- I got lost here. I went one way when it should have been the other way.

AMC River East 21 Theater -- finally! I was really giddy when I saw the theater. I arrived at 10:30 AM.

This whole lobby was dedicated to the LOTR fans during the release of ROTK.

Yep that's the line of the Chicago Line Party members participating this year.

Freebies I got from the Line Party -- a ROTK tattoo, small Frodo toy, and a Frodo trading card

I think I got hungry at this part. That's because I wasn't able to eat the day before (and at breakfast the day I went to Chicago) due to excitement.

I'm back! Took a lot of pictures during the line party however it's not as much as I wanted it to be. It's not the batteries though. This time it's the camera's capacity. Grrr. Anyway will post later. Need to sleep first... *yawn*... I'm so dead tired... *yaaaawn*... zzzzz...

I can't believe it. Tomorrow I'll be lining up for the opening of one of the most anticipated films of the year -- The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. I can't believe this is happening. It seems like only yesterday I was installing my ROTK countdown clock. Wow. I'm so torn between excitement and anxiety that I wasn't able to eat anything for the whole day. I've been preparing for this for almost a week now -- what should I wear, what should I bring, will there be enough time for me to find the theater -- that sort of thing. I even kind of neglected of my blog because of the anticipation. See, no winter lay-out yet, no updates in a long while, and I haven't even visited my friends' blogs. Oh well, one step at a time. I just hope that it won't take long before I go online again. Hee hee. See you in a while guys. Hopefully, my camera won't go bonkers on me again. I'll be posting pictures and stories about my adventure in Chicago (or Caradhras - take your pick).

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

Can you read the dialogue, I wonder? I tweaked the picture a bit so it would fit in my layout. Let me know if you have trouble reading it.

Tomorrow is one helluva day. Woohoo! Can't wait.

Still no snow today. Winter's late but I don't mind. Sidewalks and roads are slippery when they're snow-laden. Rain suits me better (although it really is chilly).

Pardon me while I burst

Pardon me while I burst

A decade ago, I never thought I would be,

at twenty three, on the verge of spontaneous combustion.

Woe-is-me.

But I guess that it comes with the territory;

an ominous landscape of never ending calamity.

I need you to hear, I need you to see that I have had all I can take and

exploding seems like a definite possibility to me.

So pardon me while I burst into flames.

I've had enough of the world and it's people's mindless games.

So pardon me while I burn and rise above the flame.

Pardon me, pardon me....I'll never be the same.

Not two days ago, I was having a look in a book

and I saw a picture of a guy fried up above his knees.

I said, "I can relate," cause' lately I've been thinking of combustication

as a welcomed vacation from the burdens of the planet earth.

Like gravity, hypocrisy, and the perils of being in 3-D...

but thinking so much differently.

So pardon me while I burst into flames.

I've had enough of the world and it's people's mindless games.

So pardon me while I burn and rise above the flame.

Pardon me, pardon me....I'll never be the same.

never be the same...

Pardon me while i burts into flames

Pardon me, pardon me...

So pardon me while I burst into flames.

I've had enough of the world and it's people's mindless games.

So pardon me while I burn and rise above the flame.

Pardon me, pardon me....I'll never be the same.

pardon me....I'll never be the same.

-- Pardon Me, Incubus

Need I say more? Sometimes we need a moment to collect ourselves, to get away from the world and its rules. And that moment, for me, is now. Wish I could just walk out but the cold weather prevents me from doing it. Then again there's my room. Sigh. I just need to shut off everything for a little while.

New friends, old friends... I have plenty of those (both categories) and I treasure them mightily. As their friend, I can get so demanding of their attention that I often get jealous if I'm not part of their gimmick or any lakad. I would expect my friends to be concerned about me whenever I have problems. I would expect them to listen to my tirades. I would expect them to be there when things don't go as planned. I don't think this is way too much -- that's because I do these things to my friends too and I expect no less from them. But I digress. The main point of this post is to tell you my complete disappointment in someone I call a "friend." Whenever he has problems, I'm just a buzz away. Always there for him. Yesterday, my Yahoo status was "sick." Gusto ko man lang sana tanungin mo ko kung kumusta ako but no! Inisnab mo ko. La lang. I guess I'm in a sensitive zone right now and all I wanted from you is a bit of concern, you flummoxed, bubble-headed idiot. (I may get over this soon and I know a time will come that, upon re-reading this post, I would be so embarrassed of what I said. Then again, it would be a cool reminder to myself that hey, I'm sensitive too. Hee hee.)

W.H. Murray on Commitment
"... until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the Providence moves, too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no one could have dreamt would have come their way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets: Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now."

Such beautiful words I read from Robert Kiyosaki's book. To realize one's highest potential -- for me, it should be our life's purpose.

"After we have given our best shot and we still fail, it's okay. It's alright to fail from time to time. We're only human. Failure has its own purpose."

-- such a nice quote from Kuya Resty's blog

Pucha naman. Wala namang lokohan. Ano ba ha?? FPJ for President?!? Pweh! Wala namang ka-experience-experience yang taong yan sa serbisyo publiko ah, bakit sya tatakbo?? At bilang presidente pa ha! Pwede ba, maawa naman kayo sa Pilipinas! Maawa kayo sa mga mamamayang Pilipino. Oh God, have mercy on us all.

Ako, wala akong alam sa pulitiko. I'm a dimwit when it comes to the legal ek-ek of our government. But all I know is I don't want a fucking repeat of the Erap administration! Ayoko na ng EDSA to the infinity. Ayoko na ng puro pangako, puro kurakot naman. Pwede ba maging pro-country naman kayo. Ayaw ko na ng ganito. Deja vu all over again... Shit.

Naiisip ko tuloy ang swerte ko pala andito ako sa Tate. Malayo sa bwiset na sitwasyon ng Pilipinas. Grrr nakakaasar na ha. Wala bang katapusan to? O senyales na ba to na patapon na talaga ang Pinas? Wag naman. Gusto ko pang bumalik, umuwi sa bansang mahal ko. (Lam kong corny pero that is what I feel so tumahimik ka dyan.) May babalikan pa kaya ako kung sakali? Sana naman.

Eto po ang isang magandang editoryal ni Conrado de Quiros.

A child is dying, better get a doctor than an albularyo (quack doctor). A building is collapsing, better get an engineer than a panday. You'll have only one crack at preventing a tragedy. You call it wrong, your building will be gone, or your child will be dead.

That's where we are today.

Too true, too true.

EDIT:

O eto daw ang official prayer natin:

please god

iodized salt

gumana ka

patalinuhin mo ang bayan

iodized salt

ikaw ang pag-asa

Am I Insane?

My result: Slightly batty.

You answered yes to 25 out of 123 questions, making you 20.325203252033% insane.

Err that's a good thing right?