Motherhood is not for me. I've suspected that for quite awhile. I know I don't have the patience of looking after kids -- running around checking their diapers if they're dry and comfortable, picking up their toys strewn all over the floor, or making sure they're not putting anything harmful to their mouths. I still feel impatient when I have to check my cousins' homeworks, even if they're of school age, when they don't require that much attention compared to a newborn or toddler. Nope, motherhood is not for me.

And I even confirmed it last week when I saw a normal vaginal delivery at the hospital of which I'm having an OB rotation. Took a lot of courage (and deep breaths) in my part not to flee and faint... Nope pregnancy and motherhood are definitely not for me.

But after a short span of time in the nursery, while holding and bottle-feeding an infant the other day, I'm having second thoughts. It was such a thrill cradling the newborn in my right arm while holding a bottle to his mouth, encouraging him to suck. I felt sorry for him 'cause he can't latch on to his mother's breasts. He'd gag and eventually stop looking for the source of nourishment, causing both the mom and the nurse's concern. Since the nurse was swamped with work, I volunteered to bottle-feed the baby. I might say, it was one of the most intimate moments I've had with a human being... and I want more. Skip the pregnancy. I want a baby!