Wow it's been a while since I last truly blogged. It's such a welcome change to not to blog for more than a week. Sometimes I have this feeling of being crowded, to get away from my responsibilities. Even though blogging is therapy for most people, sometimes I see it as a responsibility. Ah well it's just me, I guess.

BTW I got my student's visa last Saturday. We've been waiting for this for almost half a year now. And now that it's here, the inevitability of not going home is sinking in. Yeah I still see it that way. I know I shouldn't but a part of me can't help it. And for the rest of me? Well I'm excited. I get to experience studying the American way. Not to mention, a lot of opportunities to re-discover and re-invent myself. Besides at this point, I don't see any other choice but to go on with the plans that have been laid out before me. When the time comes, I know I'll be the one who'll help my family get accustomed to American living. My siblings will need my help in starting life anew. Like I told my friend, this isn't all about me anymore. I have my family to think about. But before I can help them, I have to help myself first. I have to stand up first on my own before I can guide my sister and brother (and my parents as well). I know that now. Ngayon ko lang na-realize kung bakit ako nauna, kung bakit ako nandito. Maybe to start life anew. Maybe to learn humility. Maybe to find strength in all the things I see here. Maybe to discover my faith in the Lord. Maybe to fly. Maybe lahat ng ito. I've been so wrapped up in my problems before that I didn't stop and think about what this (moving here and all) may mean. And now that I have a purpose, all I have to do is to hold onto it.