loryces online

Friday, January 21

Bilbo Said It Clearly

Ok I've not been truthful enough about my last entry. The whole incident is not about me being secretive. I don't know why I thought it's about that. I guess I'm trying not to make a big deal out of it, making it seem less than what it actually is. I talked to a couple of my friends earlier and -- thankgodtheyunderstandwhatimgoingthrough -- it really helped me calm down and think about the situation. You see, the pep talk I had with my aunt revolves around my finacial affairs -- what she thought is a complete disregard in my part to save, which I might add is not completely untrue. I admit that I've been sort of reckless with the money I have in my possession, spending on what my relatives call trivial and superficial pursuits like books, DVDs, a cellphone, LOTR-related stuff, etc. (Well basically all things that don't fall under the basic needs category are unnecessary for them. I kid you not.) I also admit that sometimes I tend to "forget" the future and sort of live in the moment, the here and now, spending like there's no tomorrow. I also admit that my savings account right now is a pittance. But still, even with my pitiful saving habits, it doesn't give my aunt (or any other relatives) the right to meddle with my affairs or to criticize the way I handle my finances. If I choose to spend it on things I want, whether superfluous or not, is not really their concern right? If I choose to spend all my money in one go, that's my business, not theirs.

I don't have my family with me right now. I don't have a boyfriend. I don't have close friends I can hang out with. I don't know anyone who's a LOTR fanatic around our area. I don't have outlets that would somehow alleviate what I'm feeling right now. I want to buy things that would make me happy, even for a little bit. Sounds pathetic, I know, because I'm relying on things to make me happy but what can I do? I love what I'm feeling when I'm buying books or DVDs, especially when it's about Lord of the Rings. I love it when I buy stuff because I know it's something crossed off my to-have list and that I have to find another item for my wish list. Actually these things that I'm saving up for are more than just a bunch of trivialities. They're my goals, pathetic as it sounds. Is it so bad to desire? Is it that sinful to save up and buy things? Mali ba yun??? Besides I don't plan on having a family anytime soon so what better way to enjoy life than by working and saving up for the things you want to have?

The worst thing is it's making me feel guilty and it shouldn't be. I have worked/am working my ass off so I can save and spend it my way and no mother or relative is going to tell me otherwise. I just hope I have the guts to explain this to them someday.

As for the title, a friend reminded me that Bilbo said it clearly when he said "what business is it of yours what i do with my own things?" Hehe.

LORYCES @ 12:00 AM | COMMENTS

9 comment(s)

9 comment(s):

At 4:33 PM, JMom commented...: Hi Loryces, that's the hard thing when you are still living under someone's roof. They feel entitled to meddle in your personal affairs. If I were you (no, actually, I was exactly where you are now!) I'd save my money and move out. That's what I did, then I can say, it's my money and I'd spend it like I want to. I'm sure they have good intentions, but sometimes, we have to learn our own way and be allowed to make mistakes.
At 5:08 PM, Anonymous commented...: i guess it really isn't easy being in another country plus not really getting along with your relatives. =( *virtual hugs*

-- rej
http://sunshinysarcasm.blurty.com
At 12:25 AM, Anonymous commented...: Hi Loryces we have some things in common - like the that superficial pursuits :) pero sad naman ako dun sa last entry mo. kung andian ako, me kasama ka ng LOTR fanatic hehe. At hindi mali yung bumili ka out of your own savings, atleast inipon mo yun. hope things will be better for you in other means. thanks for the greeting btw. take care and God Bless! - tsampoy
At 3:41 AM, Anonymous commented...: My sympathies, Loryces. Yeah, it's hard when people (ergo, relatives) want to have a say in your life. But then again, it's YOUR life. JMom is correct, you'll have to save up and move out. Then you can tell them what you're dying to say.

Chin up, OK?

Tin Tin
http://www.stannum.net/
At 9:37 AM, Dr. Emer commented...: Pareho pala tayo....I'll tell you what my weaknesses are: books (science, medicine, politics, etc.), comics, graphic novels, and cool gadgets. I don't splurge much on clothing, pag kelangan lang, me convention or I got to give a talk...that's when I dress up.

When I was there, like I told you one time, me suki ako sa kanto ng Randolph and Michigan Ave sa downtown Chicago (dunno if he's still there) where I usually get my stash of comics. Mura pa noon. Mga less than a dollar pa lang ang isa. I usually blow around $50 sa comics. Itinatago ko ang mga yun. Same reasons as yours. Ayaw din ng mga relatives ko (mga tita din) ng mga ganoong pagkakagastusan. Aksaya daw, you know the talk. Moving out is out of the option, as ayaw ng parents ko na umalis ako sa kamag-anak ko; I just moved out when I had my residency in Baltimore.

Me point naman sila. Nauubos nga ang savings ko sa mga comics...but I'm also the one who suffer from it, so sa tingin ko ok lang. Bad trip din sa akin pag napapagsabihan. I know what you feel.

Advice ko sa yo, just tell them you will tone it down a little. Say the things you know they'd like to hear from you. Apologize. Promise you'll save from now on.
Matatapos din yan. Hindi kasi nila naiintindihan and they will never understand unless they see it from your perspective --- which they'll never do, trust me. So, compromise na lang.

Matatapos din yan. When you're a professional already, you can be free and do everything you want. Pero ang irony, mami-miss mo naman mga pangaral at sermon nila. Oo, kakatawa nga, pero ganyan nangyari sa akin. Wala naman gaanong nagbago. I still buy and collect my comics. :)
At 11:06 AM, Jax commented...: Concerned lang siguro ang Auntie mo sayo. After all, siya ang legal guardian mo diyan. Siyempre gusto niya lang maging maayos ka.

Yun nga lang, di niya siguro alam kung pano niya sasabihin sayo yun.
At 7:38 PM, lornadahl commented...: Hi, loryces! This is a very remarkable day. After countless days (months even!) of encountering THIS PAGE CANT BE DISPLAYED whenever I go check this virtual lounge, I have finally seen your words once again. =)

I'm sorry to hear she can't understand your needs. Homesickness is a terrible company, what more can a questioning authority bring? Have you considered moving out? Or would that bring more i$$ues? I hope you'd surpass this all. *hugs*
At 2:29 AM, Night Moon commented...: I think I have a pretty good grasp of living for the moment, Im epicurean har!! I saw your site thru Lornadahl, way before when your layout was copied by a south american,...so i have been a lurker! Its high time I let you know that ive been reading your site. I added you too, to my blogroll, to make it public :)-dementedvixen

http://dementedvixen.ploghost.net
At 10:33 PM, loryces commented...: JMom: i'll keep that in mind! thanks!

rej: you got it right. it's never easy. *hugs back*

Tsampoy: sige punta ka na dito para may co-fanatic friend na ko :D thanks!

Tin: thanks! pag-alis ko dito, punta ako ng malayong-malayo haha!

Dr. Emer: manong emer pareho tayo ng mga hilig! gastador ka rin pala hehe! and like you, yoko din ng pinagsasabihan pero i understand them naman. asar lang kasi minsan. thanks ha!

hazpafis: nakakainis lang kasi yung pagkakasabi nya eh. oh well. thanks!

lornadahl: hi lorna! sorry bout the page cannot be displayed thing but believe me, i didnt know bout it. :( yoko magmove out. not enough moolah. if i have it, i will move out in a heartbeat hehe. *hugs back*

Matapoor: thanks!

demented: hi! thanks for visiting and adding me! will return the favor. :)

pen: sus i doubt na maintindihan nya. pareho sila ng mommy na puro tipid dito, tipid dun. not that there's anything wrong with that. syempre gusto ko rin gumastos noh. :D